new blog skin.. need your feedback, decided since no longer drugging so its alright to look on the bight side of life i guess. hope this decision of optimism doesn't come back and bite me in the butt. well i wonder if this is the way to go, change my theme of thought, not way of thought just theme from the pessimist to the positive. ok signing out, really nothing more to say.

Benjamin
11:14 PM

1 week of poly... walk here walk there. tired sia, until today i had no idea that there were books bigger than my chem text.
1st week: made friends liao. scored lowest in test.
that sums it up for poly.
now the real crap begins. ARGH i have no idea my head was so filled with thought, focused thoughts, really no sense it belonged there untill a certain point in time where it grew, harder to surpress, feeling so confused....not sure thats the word, my thoughts are clear, but my sense knows its wrong, knows its selfish, knows i will be wrong, after all probability is always against me. i never like to use the term 'my heart' after all your brain does everything heart is just a pumping tool. 'to want' is selfish, 'to take' is wrong, 'to ignore' hurts. What to do? this sux

Benjamin
11:57 PM

ok thx to all your support i will be bloggin more. lets start with OMG poly starting. ok no worries up till now, need your comment on this if u all dont mind, what would you do if some one gave up hope on you and made you think, what would you do if this person is someone who will be there and wont go away. i need to make the right choice, wondering do i discard all image of him or do i ignore this and imagine it was empty. i cant choose, everytime i think about it i get frustrated and angry wanting to do stuff which only human intelligence can control. the deeper this gets the worst i become, i will be cold.... or do i just warm....

Benjamin
10:36 PM

Bloggin again, i have this strong sense that no one bothers to read this so this blog is just here to test who reads before i put in more effort to blog more

Benjamin
9:41 PM